I tried first with my new Kitchen-Aid mixer that I got for Christmas. I made Focaccia bread. It was meditative to mix all the ingredients…it smelled so wonderful as it baked…I couldn’t wait for it to be done. Others in the house wandered into the kitchen, wondering what the incredible smells were that were floating throughout the place.
It came out of the oven, still smelling incredible…
And was hard as a rock.
Not edible at all.
Unless you like the taste of rocks.
Rocks with a little garlic, basil, oregano, rosemary, etc. on them.
I gathered all kinds of advice from my Facebook friends and family and felt ready to tackle it again, this time with the aid of a bread maker, on loan from my mom.
I thought for sure it would be easier. I had several tips that would cross over to a machine. I read the manual…a few times. I bought top-quality ingredients. I was ready.
So ready and excited, I got up at 3am so it would be fresh and ready at breakfast time. I hadn’t planned to get up quite that early but I woke up and couldn’t sleep from all the excitement I felt.
I made Cinnamon raisin bread. I thought it would be awesome for french toast.
I was so careful…it smelled so great…I couldn’t wait for it to be done.
It came out all lumpy and hard and disgusting AND the raisins were stuck to it like bugs mostly…on the outside. My masterpiece was not a masterpiece.
And I was tired now from getting up at 3am.
But also determined to get it right.
So I made another loaf. This time a more basic recipe…wheat bread. Same quality ingredients. Extra care to put the ingredients in right…to measure properly. Armed with a few more tips.
And another fail.
Can you believe that? I was just about in tears. I went back to my Facebook family and friends and asked what I was doing wrong. Why did my loaf of bread look like a chicken missing a leg?
I got all kinds of feedback from I did something wrong to maybe the machine is defective. My mom said I could return it, no questions asked. But she made bread fine in it. It has to be something I’m doing.
The bread making saga will continue. I’m not ready to give up. But more importantly is the reminder of an important lesson…
It’s not about the destination…it’s about the journey.
This process, regardless of the outcome, is nurturing to my soul.
The care I take in selecting ingredients…in choosing a recipe to try…in putting it all together…the smell of bread baking is amazing and almost better than eating it (calorie-free, you know!). I’ve tried something new. I’ve completely enjoyed the process and I’ve interacted with so many helpful people want to see me achieve success with my bread making…which is really nothing more than a metaphor for life, right?
So I’m off to watch a few YouTube videos. I’ve had to buy more ingredients to try again. But I am prepared and will do my best to get it right…and to remind myself it’s about the journey, not the destination. The act of creating is amazing and flows into all areas of my life…no matter what the outcome.
It doesn’t matter if I had bread to eat…my soul is full!