I’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling

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lostWinter is here.  That’s a fact. I wish I could deny it and it would go away but it doesn’t work that way.

I’m not a winter person.  Last year, I set out on a mission to find winter activities I could enjoy.  It never actually happened.  I thought there had to be something I’d enjoy outside in the cold and wind and snow, right?  There just has to be something!

That’s a big no!  I was wrong.

I guess I don’t want to say I’ll never find an outdoor winter activity I enjoy but the fact is I like to be cozy and warm and comfortable.  I hate bundling up…makes me feel claustrophobic.

I went into spring wondering what I was going to do.  I live in a state where warm weather is not the dominant temperature.

Finally, it hit me in early summer…why did I feel like I had to find an outdoor activity to enjoy?  I know I want to be in nature and all but perhaps there are other ways to embrace this desire and find other desires that feed me during the winter months.  I started thinking about all the activities I enjoy inside…

movies…sewing…reading…concerts…plays…lots to do that don’t require nice weather.

As winter approached this year, I was optimistic and excited.  And then it happened…the first snow.  I actually sat in front of the TV feeling the tears running down my cheeks.  I wasn’t ready.  I needed warmth and sun and to feel alive.  I was afraid spending the winter months inside wasn’t going to do it for me.  I really wasn’t ready.

After sitting with it, I knew I had to find a way out of this space.  It was necessary.  It’s my life.  I knew that it was deeper than just finding an activity I enjoyed and so I explored what that might mean for me.

Everyone needs vitamin D and with the lack of sun, that has to be impacted so I purchased a supplement and starting taking that.  I made sure I was getting enough sleep…a bit of a challenge since I’m also feeling extra tired so “enough” isn’t quite feeling like enough and I actually took a nap last weekend which is really rare for me.  And then it dawned on me…

I had stopped getting email reminders to write down what I was grateful for every day.  The gratitude had become such an important part of my day and had come so easy and I watched my live flourish and grow through the process but my process included those daily reminders and life got busy and I have no idea when they stopped but I hadn’t expressed gratitude in my normal way in some time.  The end of July was the last thing I could find in my email.

So I am back on the gratitude track and what a difference that makes in my life.  The vitamin D and sleep are helping and I’m getting to explore activities I love that take place inside.  I’m looking to find something I’d like to do outside…probably with my camera…we’ll see where that one lands 🙂

What keeps you excited to be alive?

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