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I saw this phrase “not my circus, not my monkeys” posted on Facebook a while back and absolutely frikkin’ fell in love with it!
I’ve never really liked the circus so I want to avoid them anyway…all of them, whether they include a big red tent or not. Unfortunately, I seem to find myself in situations that seriously look like a circus.
I don’t like drama in my life. I don’t want to be surrounded by negativity.
I want peace and calm and to deal with life’s ups and downs (which are bound to happen) in a healthy way.
So what do I do when I find myself in the midst of someone else’s circus?
I don’t feed into it.
I might even call them on their crap. Have you ever met someone who is constantly complaining about the same thing happening to them over and over and over again? Try asking them what they are going to do to stop it from happening again. And just keep asking the same type of question over and over again…speak to action moving forward. They’ll stop coming to you to complain (unless they really are trying to shift their life for the better).
I might even be honest with them.
If I’m feeling the urge to be more direct with someone about what I’m observing or experiencing personally by what’s going on with them, I always ask permission. I ask them if they are open to some feedback. And I give it to them. I’m honest and direct.
And if all else fails…
I let them go.
I create distance between us to allow for my sanity to stay in tact.
Above all else, I have to honor myself and my needs.
Yes, I come first. It doesn’t matter if it’s family or friends. I must come first.
And when the circus is in town, you won’t find me there.
And you won’t see me with any monkeys either.
Learned to let them go, not saying it’s always easy, but always worth it to save your own sanity.
Absolutely, Kelli! Well worth it 🙂
Oh, but I love monkeys! Just not THAT kind of monkeys! lol… I have always admired this part of you, Michele. You have a great skill for not getting entangled in other people’s monkeys. It’s a good thing.
Sometimes it isn’t easy but I definitely do my best. I really want a peaceful and happy life…that’s tough to do with monkeys around 🙂
Oh Michele this is lovely. I am going to use your “what are you doing to make it stop happening again?” on a friend of mine. It’ll take a lot of courage but I’ll try it. Thank you.
I find it best to say something like, “Wow, I can see where that would be really challenging! What are you going to do to avoid it in the future?” Something like that. Let me know how it goes! Good luck!
I do this quite a bit–I’ve been lucky that these circuses are seldom in my immediate family, which make them much harder to avoid.
Mind, some circuses just need to hire a better monkey trainer.
LOL A better trainer would definitely take care of it 🙂
All, so true. The “Circus” can squish the energy right out of a person, all it takes is one crazy elephant. And while it can be hard to walk away, it also saves ones precious energy for the things that truly do feed our own happy ending.
I’ve had too many crazy elephants in my life so I’m done with all creatures of the circus 🙂 So important to manage our energy.
The hardest for me is to let them (or it) go. But, wow, it really works well. I agree about circuses – not mine. Don’t like them, with big fancy tents or not.
It does work really well and makes life so much more enjoyable!