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Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

I may from time to time offer links to products or services on my blog. If you click those links, and make a purchase from them, I might get some money to take a vacation...and, by take a vacation, I mean hop on my bike and hit the open road {trails around my house} or maybe attend a movie if it's been a good month.  Thank you for contributing to my bliss!

 

Michele

manandmonkey from Flickr via Wylio

© 2008 stephanyann, Flickr | CC-BY-ND | via Wylio

I saw this phrase “not my circus, not my monkeys” posted on Facebook a while back and absolutely frikkin’ fell in love with it!

I’ve never really liked the circus so I want to avoid them anyway…all of them, whether they include a big red tent or not.  Unfortunately, I seem to find myself in situations that seriously look like a circus.

I don’t like drama in my life.  I don’t want to be surrounded by negativity.

I want peace and calm and to deal with life’s ups and downs (which are bound to happen) in a healthy way.

So what do I do when I find myself in the midst of someone else’s circus?

I don’t feed into it.

I might even call them on their crap.  Have you ever met someone who is constantly complaining about the same thing happening to them over and over and over again?  Try asking them what they are going to do to stop it from happening again.  And just keep asking the same type of question over and over again…speak to action moving forward.  They’ll stop coming to you to complain (unless they really are trying to shift their life for the better).

I might even be honest with them.

If I’m feeling the urge to be more direct with someone about what I’m observing or experiencing personally by what’s going on with them, I always ask permission.  I ask them if they are open to some feedback. And I give it to them.  I’m honest and direct.

And if all else fails…

I let them go.

I create distance between us to allow for my sanity to stay in tact.

Above all else, I have to honor myself and my needs.

Yes, I come first.  It doesn’t matter if it’s family or friends.  I must come first.

And when the circus is in town, you won’t find me there.

And you won’t see me with any monkeys either.

July 16, 2014 Filed Under: Life 12 Comments

About Michele

Michele Bergh is a teacher, a student and a lover of life. She is a healing artist who enjoys a variety of mediums and also has a few mad techie skills up her sleeves. By day she primarily does WordPress design and development and works with others to create a blissful life. By night, you'll find her behind a camera lens, on her bike, in a big comfy chair, cooking up a storm in her kitchen or sewing while listening to great music (probably from the 70s) on her ipod. Her greatest joy comes from living a orgasmic life by design.

What Others are Saying

  1. Kelli Spencer says

    July 29, 2014 at 11:06 pm

    Learned to let them go, not saying it’s always easy, but always worth it to save your own sanity.

    Reply
    • Michele says

      July 29, 2014 at 11:14 pm

      Absolutely, Kelli! Well worth it 🙂

      Reply
  2. Amy Putkonen says

    July 25, 2014 at 2:37 pm

    Oh, but I love monkeys! Just not THAT kind of monkeys! lol… I have always admired this part of you, Michele. You have a great skill for not getting entangled in other people’s monkeys. It’s a good thing.

    Reply
    • Michele says

      July 25, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      Sometimes it isn’t easy but I definitely do my best. I really want a peaceful and happy life…that’s tough to do with monkeys around 🙂

      Reply
  3. Kelly McKenzie says

    July 25, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    Oh Michele this is lovely. I am going to use your “what are you doing to make it stop happening again?” on a friend of mine. It’ll take a lot of courage but I’ll try it. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Michele says

      July 25, 2014 at 5:35 pm

      I find it best to say something like, “Wow, I can see where that would be really challenging! What are you going to do to avoid it in the future?” Something like that. Let me know how it goes! Good luck!

      Reply
  4. SKJAM! says

    July 25, 2014 at 11:53 am

    I do this quite a bit–I’ve been lucky that these circuses are seldom in my immediate family, which make them much harder to avoid.

    Mind, some circuses just need to hire a better monkey trainer.

    Reply
    • Michele says

      July 25, 2014 at 5:08 pm

      LOL A better trainer would definitely take care of it 🙂

      Reply
  5. PR Brady says

    July 24, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    All, so true. The “Circus” can squish the energy right out of a person, all it takes is one crazy elephant. And while it can be hard to walk away, it also saves ones precious energy for the things that truly do feed our own happy ending.

    Reply
    • Michele says

      July 24, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      I’ve had too many crazy elephants in my life so I’m done with all creatures of the circus 🙂 So important to manage our energy.

      Reply
  6. Linda Watson says

    July 24, 2014 at 10:46 am

    The hardest for me is to let them (or it) go. But, wow, it really works well. I agree about circuses – not mine. Don’t like them, with big fancy tents or not.

    Reply
    • Michele Bergh says

      July 24, 2014 at 12:05 pm

      It does work really well and makes life so much more enjoyable!

      Reply

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