I was reading a blog post the other day about success and what it meant to the author of the post. It is really important to be able to define what something means to you so you have a gauge to know when you achieve it and I loved that she was doing so. However, I noticed a key theme in her definition…one I’ve seen before…one that is worth talking about because it won’t get you anywhere.
Her definition of success was, in part, when she is helping her clients achieve success.
I’ve seen similar cases where a parent’s definition of joy is watching their children engage in an activity they really enjoy or seeing their children get really excited about something happening in their lives.
The fundamental issue with these definitions is this….
You cannot find success, joy, happiness or anything else THROUGH someone else. It may make you feel good for a time but it creates a dependence on the response of others for you to feel whatever it is you are longing to feel. Your definition must be about you and only you.
In other words…if you were the only person left on this planet, how would success or happiness or joy look to you? What would it look like?