Someone to spend the rest of my life with…so I must be my own best friend first and then be open to inviting another in. And I need to focus on what I want in that other person (and be that myself – I wrote about this here too). That’s how it works.
Don’t be fooled by the tough exterior of the one who says she doesn’t want any relationship at all…she was wrong.
Yes, I was. Relationships take work but that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth it. Having someone to share your dreams, your passions with…priceless. Having someone to lean on…to laugh with…to love…priceless. And what better person to do that with than a best friend.
When I look back at my marriage, there are several things I can see that I did “wrong.” I don’t mean that in a judgement sense…I did the best I could but I see things differently now.
Moving forward, I know…
- I must be my own best friend first. I must truly enjoy my company and have things in my life that I get excited about.
- I must focus on what makes me happy.
- I won’t nitpick or point out things that could have been done differently.
- I will be of service…wanting to make their life better…easier.
- I will not lose myself in the process.
- I will look for new experiences to enjoy together and apart.
- I will give them space to breath.
- I will continue to care for myself both for myself and for them.
- I will find ways to connect and be intimate.
- I will be the best friend I want in another first and foremost.
I recently came across a great article about mistakes not to make in a marriage and thought he had some great points…some are lessons I identified and some were things I hadn’t thought of…all great stuff! I thought you might enjoy it too!
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