Integrity has popped up for me several times in the last few months and I’ve had a hard time wrapping myself around it. What exactly does it mean? What is living in integrity? The exact meaning has illuded me. Why is it that some people think something they are doing is living with integrity and someone else wouldn’t agree?
This past weekend, I finally understood. I was listening to a podcast from Hay House Radio with Cheryl Richardson who is a well-known Life Coach. I thought she explained it very well. Living with integrity means doing things that are in alignment with your beliefs and values. Since we all have different beliefs and values, what is integrity for one person may not be for another AND there is no judgement around this.
She gave this example of years ago when she would get too much change back from a cashier, she would be grateful for the abundance of the Universe and believed that was the reason for the extra change. Now, if she got extra change, she would return it because she doesn’t feel like it’s hers to keep. Neither is wrong because they were both done in alignment with her beliefs and values. She’s just in a different place now.
Integrity is the reason I chose to leave my job last summer. It was killing me inside to be there. The values and beliefs of my employer were not in alignment with mine and every day I felt as if I was losing more and more of myself. Leaving was the best thing I could do for myself and I have never regretted my decision. That doesn’t mean that things aren’t a challenge sometimes because of adjustments I’ve needed to make but I am in alignment in that area of my life and I know that feels right. I never question it.
Integrity is something very personal and, I think, very important. Any time you are feeling out of alignment, you are probably not living with integrity in some area of your life. Take a look around. Is there something that doesn’t feel right that you are doing? Something that is causing you stress? Take a look at your values and beliefs…is there a way you could do things differently that would feel better?
Thank you for your response.
It sounds to me like not paying for something would be against your values and your beliefs and, if that is correct, you would be out of integrity if you made that choice.
I think Cheryl’s point was that we cannot judge someone else’s choices from a standpoint of whether they acted with integrity or not. Integrity is simply acting in alignment with your beliefs and values.
I have had a hard time understanding exactly what integrity was because some people would talk about it and say they were doing something out of integrity and yet, when I looked at what they were doing and wondered if I would make the same choice, often the answer was no – I think like it was for you reading about Cheryl’s choice. So I have been contemplating exactly what integrity meant and why people had different views of it. Now I understand that I cannot judge whether someone’s choice is in alignment with their beliefs and values (living with integrity) because everyone has different beliefs and values.
To answer your question, I also think that we, as a society, have some shared values and beliefs about stealing and some of that is defined by law. If you walked out of a store and didn’t pay, even if it was an honest mistake, and you were caught – that would be considered stealing. But I think “integrity” would determine whether someone felt bad about it.
Does that make sense?
I am not sure I agree when it comes to getting too much change back from a cashier. I think either way, whether you are in need or not you should return it. No different than if you forgot to pay for something or the cashier didn’t catch, you need to go back and pay for it.
Does that mean if me or my kids need something and don’t have a lot of money but I need it I just forget to pay for something that I shouldn’t go back and pay for it.