But understanding what orgasmic living is can be an entirely confusing concept…how do we harness the energy of an orgasm and bring that energy into every part of our being…every part of our lives? That feels like a deep subject but it doesn’t have to be.
I’m hoping to clear some of that up for you and get you started today on a path of orgasmic living. We all deserve a delicious life and this is the secret sauce…no pun intended 😉
What we want is to create heaven on earth…because it really is here. Heaven is all around us…we need to make a decision to see it…to feel it…to embrace it.
Let’s get started with a few stats/scientific details (not always the most interesting but really important so bear with me – it gets good):
We have two primary parts to our brain…the conscious mind and the subconscious mind.
The conscious part of our brain is not bound by time…it can go anywhere at any time. That’s the space we are in when we think about what we have to do tomorrow or what happened yesterday or where we need to be in an hour or what bill needs to be paid. It’s also the creative part of our brain. It is where we are most connected to who we are, what we want and to source energy. It is where all of our wishes, desires, and aspirations reside. The challenge here is that our minds are so busy thinking all the time (95% of the time to be exact) that we are unable to stay in the creative state where all those wonderful aspects of who we are sit.
Our subconscious part of the brain makes up about 90% of the brain as a whole. It works like a record/playback system. It’s where habits reside. It’s programmed from conception to about 7 years of age by observing/feeling/experiencing others. About 50% of our personality is determined before we make our official entrance into this world. It comes from the message we experience in the womb. If the mother is anxious, we become an anxious individual. If the mother is carefree, we become carefree. If the mother fears abandonment, we will most likely fear abandonment. Remember, it’s the state of being during pregnancy that matters in terms of what a mother passes through to the child in the womb…not who they are necessarily today.
All of this is because we live in a hypnotic state until around 7…the theta brainwave state…and just absorb everything around us. None of it is ours. We are a clean slate being filled with graffiti by all those who enter our life, although most of it comes from mother-father, teacher-preacher type people. Anything in your subconscious mind is not really visible. We don’t fully know what is there. We don’t know why it’s there or where it came from. We act and react 95% of the time from this part of our brain. This means that 95% of our behavior and beliefs are not actually ours. We’ve adopted them as our own but they weren’t ours by nature…they are there through nurture.
What’s most sad about the subconscious mind is that at least 70% of it’s programming (remember, this isn’t your shit), is dis-empowering, self-sabotaging, and limiting. It undermines your conscious mind…your wishes, desires and aspirations. It impacts your ability to connect with your soul and with source.
So let’s take a look at this from a relationship perspective. You know that early, wonderful and exciting space often called the honeymoon stage? This stage happens when two people meet who’s vibration and chemistry feel like a match. It happens below the conscious space of our mind…it’s subconscious. We don’t really know always why we feel connected, we just know the connection is there. This honeymoon stage is a personal creation…we create it…we experience – this is important to remember. The honeymoon stage can be healthy and it can be unhealthy. It’s simply a reflection of vibration between you and another person.
Either way, you have an initial state of being in a relationship…that honeymoon stage. You are excited, happy, in love, vibrant and wanting more and more out of life. And there’s also this thing called the biological imperative. It is our drive to survive. It shows up in all of nature. We don’t need to be taught how to do this…we naturally do it. Everything in nature does it naturally. Think about a plant…if you place a plant near a window, it will grow in the direction of the light because it needs light. It knows the light is good for it and it needs it to survive. If you move the plant, it will shift it’s direction of growth so that it is still growing in the direction of the light. That is the biological imperative…a part of our innate being.
For humans, that includes the need for the species as a whole to survive. It takes on average 13 years for someone to learn the necessary skills and be able to survive on their own. Of course, the dynamics of their life impact this but that’s the average, according to science. So two people are drawn together because, vibrationally, they are a match. The dopamine kicks in. Dopamine is the chemical in our brain behind joy, love, lust, addiction, cravings, etc. It’s exciting…a sense of being high…of wanting more of whatever is creating that feeling inside.
Then the vasopressin kicks into high gear. This chemical contributes to the desire for sex. It makes someone more attractive to you. It creates a feeling of addition…like you can’t get enough of that person. Then we move on to oxytocin. This is sometimes called the cuddle chemical because it’s released when people cuddle or bond. It creates trust and makes people feel joyful and happy. And then comes the seratonin. This chemical released in the brain makes people also feel happy, calm and further creates the sense of addiction…of wanting more of what makes me feel this way.
All of this deepens the connection two people feel during that honeymoon phase. It happens naturally because we need to connect to create offspring so our species can survive. Two people feel connected and in love and want more and more of each other. They are present. They are in the conscious AND CREATIVE state of being. They feel like their wishes and desires are being fulfilled and it’s easy to sit in that space and love what’s happening in their life. It’s not uncommon for people to neglect other areas of their lives during this phase. Friends get set aside. A bill might not get paid. They might not be as focused at work. All because their in a state of creative consciousness where “everything they ever wanted” is right in front of them.
Then the shit gets real. We can’t ignore the rest of the world or the rest of our responsibilities. Bills need to get paid. Kids need to be taken care of. Homes need to be maintained. Cars repaired. You get the idea. When the mind begins to wander around all this crap we call life, it is no longer in that creative state and the subconscious kicks in (remember, this is not our shit) and controls our behaviors. We begin to do things that don’t look really pretty. We begin to feel triggered, anxious, etc. When you are in a relationship with someone and they begin to allow their brain to wander, you see these behaviors crop up and wonder where the heck they came from or maybe why didn’t you see them before. You really can’t see them in the honeymoon state. You only see what’s happening in front of you in the moment and that still looks pretty wonderful.
So as these less-than-desirable behaviors show up, we make excuses…we compromise…we justify. We begin to move further and further away from the the honeymoon state until one day we wake up and say enough is enough…the honeymoon is over and I’m outta here.
A relationship doesn’t have to end this way. When we choose to be aware of our behaviors and have conversations around them, issues can easily be resolved and we can stay in that honeymoon state as long as we want…even forever. It’s challenging because you have two people with different sets of issues who need to be on the same page in terms of conversation, connection, desire to have a wonderful relationship and to be conscious enough to be willing to admit when they are wrong…to be willing to have conversations around issues that arise…to be willing to stay in the moment and not fight dirty…It requires a commitment to reprogramming the subconscious mind and this is really challenging. The issues can be hard to identify and those initial programs run at a young age are the most powerful and hardest to release.
So here’s the thing about the honeymoon phase…it’s the one time in your life you are completely mindful and you don’t even know that’s the case. If you feel like all your wishes and desires are being filled, why would you ever let your mind wander to anything else? No wandering = honeymoon…creative conscious energy. Making love, whether alone or with a partner, brings us into the creative conscious energy…the honeymoon…95% of the time. We only live in the creative conscious energy 5% of the time otherwise.
I’m not talking about any relationship here other than the relationship you have with yourself when I talk about orgasmic living. All of the information above is really an example of the energy we want to live in…we NEED to live in to be happy and joy-filled. When you have that relationship with yourself…where you spend 95% of the your life in creative conscious energy…it will spill out to those around you…to your personal relationship and beyond. It ripples out and has a healing affect on the world. But you can’t do it to heal the world…you must do it to heal yourself. That is your only purpose here…to heal yourself and live an orgasmic life in that creative conscious space.
Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. ~ Rumi
This is the power of orgasmic living. It’s about being present and mindful 95% of the time instead of 5% of the time. It’s about paying attention to the energy you feel around you…what energizes you? If you are a plant on a shelf where do you see the light? What makes you feel euphoric? What do you feel like you can’t get enough of in your life? What are those moments that bring in the dopamine, the vasopressin, the oxytocin and the seratonin in full force? That’s the space we want to live in.
And our natural state of being is to find these experiences…we gravitate to them naturally, if we CHOOSE to allow it. Our soul’s desire is to be most connected to who we are…to source energy…to our wishes and desires.
Begin paying attention to how you feel in different environments…around other people…while doing different tasks. Look for those moments of ecstasy and create more of them. Become that plant looking for the light…seeking what nourishes your soul. Settle for nothing less.
This is orgasmic living by design.
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