I spent the afternoon on Sunday providing readings for the retreat guests. I love being able to see the auras of many in one environment and am always amazed at the themes that seem to come through. Today was no different than many that have past. The theme that came across loud and clear is also a struggle I am currently addressing in my own life (not a surprise).
Some of you have heard about my journey over the past couple of months. I made a commitment to begin consciously eating. In other words, paying attention to the choices I make and why I make them. It began with a book by Geneen Roth called Women, Food, and God. She has written many books on eating but I hear this is the cream of the crop. I don’t know about anyone else but this book has changed my life. With the support of Geneen, my choices have begun to shift and I started to see why I make the choices I make. Sometimes I make different choices and sometimes I don’t but I make them all consciously.
So what does this have to do with aura photos and what shows up? Conscious eating isn’t really about eating. It’s about connecting with how I FEEL. Ahhh, therein lies the issue. I know that weight is about protection and stuffing emotions. I would have sworn that I was not a stuffer of emotions nor do I need protection any more in my life BUT Geneen has shown me the truth. When I sit with something, I am recognizing what a pro, an absolute expert, I am at stuffing emotions. Stuffing them so deeply that I don’t even know they are there. I think I feel NOTHING about something when the truth is I am not allowing myself to feel anything. Just stuff, stuff, stuff like a fake fur creature from Build-A-Bear. And yes, my emotions sometimes look like that big machine full of white batting that blows all over the place when they hit the switch and step on the petal to begin the stuffing process.
I am not alone in my struggles with connecting to how I feel. Sad but true. I am working to recognize them and actually feel them. I am amazed at the process, the fact that when I allow myself to do what I have been too afraid to do in the past, they come in and then they leave. I acknowledge them and let them go. I thank them for being there, for making life a journey. I spent all these years afraid of the FEELING when the truth of the matter is the RESISTANCE is what we should be afraid of. The resistance is where the pain resides. The resistance is where the pain lives. The resistance is where we begin to die inside and not live life to the fullest.
We are emotional beings. Life is full of pleasure. Life is full of pain. It runs the gamut and without one, there cannot be the other. Today I invite you to let those feelings surface. To find them deep inside. To thank them for adding dimension to your life and then release them. Enjoy the ups AND downs of life.